Do computer stuff like never before. With the latest lineup of Pentiums, anything is possible. From gaming to modeling to crunching a lot of numbers in Excel to whatever else's hip with the kids these days, you'll be amazed by how quick the things go. It's packing like a half-dozen cores too so you can multitask the hell outta your workflow. Built on Nephalem for that nostalgic Core gen-one feeling, but with our snazzy 14nm+++++ fab process so it boosts up to like five or six gigahertz, my dude. TDP is a hundred something Watts but who cares.
Aight so here's the deal. We got over two thousand pins on these fancy-shmancy motherboards, right? Well we thought "Hey what if we made that over two thousand plus three." And that's where LGA 2069 comes in. It's fundamentally the exact same product as 2066 except now it's completely incompatible with existing hardware. That means that all the datacenters and HEDT users gotta fork over their lunch money again if they want to stay in the with it and hip crowd. Futureproofing is dead and we have killed it.
Now we just gotta hope that the damn Chinese don't come up with a backwards-compatibility hack again like they did with LGA 771...
Using just one HDMI port is so passe. This time we've got two of them, one on each end of the stick, to double the bandwidth for that quality 8k experience. We've also added USB-C connectors on the top and bottom so you can plug one stick into another, creating an infinitely chainable source of computing power. That's right, you can now make a fully functional compute cluster out of single-core Atom processors. Think of how many screens you could power with this sort of advanced tech!