Are you crab?

Are you crab? Not yet
Hella
Crab? In this economy??
I'd be willing to give it a try

Does your mom know you're crab? My mom is crab, too
Bruh she gets carried every run
she eated all the sand
I think she's having an affair with Tony

How crab are you? I am casually crab

Why are you crab? I'm just here for the music
The loot is better
RoR2 is cringe
I'm already invested in the run

Which of the following best characterizes your crab life? Gambling
Unexpected death
Big Shot
<20fps

What do you prefer to hold with your "main" hand? Rifle
Pistol
Wand
WEAPONNAME

What do you prefer to hold with your "off" hand? My bigass hammer (giggity)
Another pistol
Crab
WEAPONNAME

Who would you rather smooch? Glass Totem
Health Shot
Tony
Landmine Limpet

What kinda crime are you most likely to get convicted for? Shoplifting
Crab
Vandalism
Unhealthy obsession with schmovement

A swarm of Giant Ants is approaching you. How would you refer to them? By their respective surnames
I do not acknowledge their presence and I carry on with my day
Stupid fuckers
Men

How many crabs are you? None at all
One or two of the crabs
More than half the crabs
Nearly every crab

Which of these Greed Perks best characterizes your most recent sexual experience? Big Bones
Rising Star
Slippery Slope
Brawler

You wake up tomorrow and you are a crab. What's the first thing you do? Check my crab mail in case something got patched while I was sleeping
Feed my crab and make sure she has enough crystals in her bowl
Look through the pile of weapon mods on my floor for something nice to shoot today
Read the crab section of the newspaper while enjoying a fresh cup of saltwater

You wake up tomorrow and you are Tony. What's the first thing you do? Go back to sleep in my cave
Queue for a competitive game in League of Legends
Keep the shop
Go on a hot date with your mom ;)